Overheard in Heaven this Week

Jesus Christ knows better than to burst into God’s terrace when He is sitting there getting a tan. But this time, Jesus felt that a talk with the boss was necessary. He stood in front of God and said:
“Hey! Those are nice shades you got, God! Can we talk a bit?”
“Thanks Jay. I just got these sun glasses; they are great! Even if this place is a bit too bright and the degree of luminosity can be controlled, it helps to get a bit of shadows to remind you that even heaven can have its dark corners. Now, what can I do for you?”
“It is that planet around the small furnace, between Mars and Venus. Earth it is called, remember?”
“Problems again? What is it this time?”
“Once again they are going through that traumatic period that precedes those rituals they call elections in the United States, and the candidates do not stop mentioning your name as if you were one of their financiers, lobbyist or lost rich uncle. This is gotta stop because in the process they involve me and I am being called to help every other second, it seems.! Then, there is a number of them that keep saying that you talk to them and use that as an excuse to bitch about a million topics and do unmentionable things. Are you talking to them?”
“You know better than that Jay. I have not talked to any of them since the days of the Garden of Eden. I did give some advice to that nice couple, Adam and Eve were their names, and later I also gave some tablets to that nice old man Mo, but I don’t think they paid any attention. And the nice snake I had invented for them was eventually turned into belts, handbags, wallets and shoes. What are they saying?”
“Well, you know about those religious groups. They all claim that you inspired them to organize themselves and worship you. So you are as much involved in politics as the boys at Fox News or Wolfgang Blitzer!”
God shook his head and poured himself more tequila. He thought for an instant and then replied:
“That is a crock, Jay. Let them lie through their teeth. If they are elected it just means that those who voted for them are as bright or as stupid as they are. Just to be safe, talk to our Legal Department.”
“What can I tell them down on earth?”
“Tell them to ask their doctor!”
God sipped more tequila and let out a tremendous guffaw. Something known on Earth as a tornado.