Sarah Palin’s appearance on the US political horizon, weeks before the presidential elections of 2008, has caused more commotion in the media and political circles than that expected to take place the day Osama Bin Laden is found surrounded by lawyers in his Manhattan penthouse facing Central Park and apprehended without a fight.
Finally I was
able to obtain an interview with Senator McCain. We have met a number of times
in the last century and also in this one. But it created a problem for me as I
had accepted to meet with Alaska Governor Sandra Palin in
Anchorage for a day long “hanging around”, as she put it.
When our CEO heard of the Palin invitation and, aware of the importance of the McCain séance, she decided to handle Palin herself while I would “do” McCain. Ms Patricia Ferrari, our beloved CEO operates out of a luxurious office in Mayfair in London and is the author of several books. She and I collaborated in this article that is distinguished by the zest and wit introduced by Ms Ferrari.
Ms Ferrari was
clearly excited about this assignment. Besides, she had never been to
Alaska and in recent weeks had heard so much about it, via Sarah Palin that she was anxious to go. She said to me:
‘You take care
of the Old Man and I go hang around with Sarah. By the way, do they speak
English in Anchorage ?”
The meeting took place in the Palin’s apartment at the Sheraton Anchorage Hotel, on fashionable East 6th Street and just a corner away from Ginocchio’s, that outstanding restaurant that transforms a simple meal into a carnival of the Senses.
Ms Palin is
usually accompanied by her 5 children, whose names would be easy to remember if
you are a Street Guide editor. They are Track and Trig, the boys and Bristol, Willow
Under those
conditions, a smiling but silent husband and 5 lively, noisy and demanding children,
any interview demands special concentration.
“We know that it must have been a shock for you to be asked all of a sudden to become the nominee for Vice President. How did this affect you?”
“Listen Jane, if you are the Governor of the largest state in the Union there are darn few things that are going to affect you. Besides, I have always kept in mind Thomas Jefferson’s words, Jean Jacques Rousseau lectures and even some of Plato’s reflections on the normal tendencies of responsible government officials to magnify and improve their own capabilities and their own desires to be able to serve those who have deposited their trust on them. It was easy, Sally my girl!”
She smiled graciously while she attempted to do a quick diaper exchange of the screaming baby and said as she turned toward me:
“Welcome to our lil’ ol state. What did you say your name is?”
“Ferrari”
“Yes Todd. No I don’t know where it is? Bristol, have you seen daddy’s guide to the cultural gems of Walsilla?”
“Sorry, what did you say your name is?”
“Ferrari”
Someone yelled at that point:
“Mama, last time I saw it Willow was using it as a door stop”.
“Willow, stop messin’ and fetch daddy’s guide to the cultural gems of Walsilla!”
“I’m so sorry Mizz er,,,,,, shall we…..”
“Ferrari ma’am. Like the car” “F E R..”
“Excuse me Mizz…….Track will you please help daddy find his guide to the cultural gems of Walsilla, and while you’re at it tell daddy to go fetch Piper from his gun club”.
“Right Mizz Fercar, where did you say you’re from?”
“The UK ma’am”.
“Ah the Ukraine.
I’ve always wanted to visit the Caribbean
“I’m not from
the Ukraine ma’am, I’m from
the UK
“Ah..Todd…. where’s Biegun, there’s a little bitty question I need to ask him”. She looked at me and smiled. She asked:
“And Mrs Mercadona, I’ve heard so much about you, and ahh, where are you from?”
“Atlanta ma’am”.
“TODD……will you PLEASE get Biegun out here…..NOW!”
Our CEO was stunned. The obvious chaos that reigns in Ms Palin’s surroundings, while charming in a way, does not allow for objective thinking and fluid transfer of information, comments and wise observations. She noticed my silence and then I said:
“Listen up Governor, at this rate this interview’s gonna take three weeks, so if it’s OK with you I’ll put my 3 questions forward first; I can’t afford to miss my plane next Friday. Mrs Palin, the imbroglio that has arisen around your decision to convert to Hinduism, does it bother you?”
“Mizz Fercar,
I’m sure you’re aware I would never
presume to know what God’s will is and as I have always said let us not
pray that God is on our side, in a war, or any other time. But let us pray that
we are on God’s side. However, as times are gittin kinda hard we need a bit
more divine intervention around here and seein’ as us Hindu’s have 330,000
Gods, that can only help, don’t yer think?”
“Mmm”…. “Mrs. Palin how do you stand on the “immiseration”
of Nigeria
At this point, she turned toward me and ignoring
my question said:
“You know, it gets harder all the time to get good
help. I had some help from Senator McCain’s influential neoconservatives,
who wasted no time in saddling me with Steve Biegun, a former number three on
the National Security Council, as my chief foreign policy adviser. So, in
addition to the children I have to look after Biegun!”
“TODD, TODD……where the hell is Biegun? I need him here …..NOW!”
As the calling subsided and she sat down, still holding the infant, I asked:
“Speaking of Steve Biegun, whose views are well known, what do you expect from the neocon faction of the Republican Party and the American Enterprise Institute? Or will you adopt Cheneyism along with their views of national security issues?”
“You will have to ask Senator McCain. I would not wish to give the impression of being an indiscreet partner”
Taking advantage of the brief period of peace and quiet in the room, I asked:
“We read that in one of your first television interviews, you said Nato may have to go to war with Russia and took a tough line on Iran's nuclear programme, insisting that the US should keep all options on the table, meaning that an alert should be in effect at all times. Any comments?”
“I don’t want my children to grow up with the fear in their hearts of a sudden mushroom cloud appearing in our placid lakes and beautiful mountain ranges. Do you?’
At that moment a waiter came in with a cart full of soft drinks, chips, cheese corners, candy bars, Oreos, and a plate full of what resembled Beef Jerky. In no time at all, the room acquired again its chaotic rhythm. She stood up and placed some of the beef jerky on a plate and offered it to me;
“While
you are in Alaska you should try the best
moose jerky from here to Moscow
I did. Not bad. Then I concluded the interview with:
“Mmm” …. “Mrs Palin, critics of your new book “101 Things To Do With A Dead Moose” have not exactly applauded either your literary or culinary skills. In fact Sam Anderson described your work as “utter codswallop. In view of this do you feel it wise to cogitate on further pursuing this line of work?”
She yelled once more: “TODD……will you PLEASE get Biegun out here…..NOW!”
And then she threw the dirty diapers at me!
Copyright©Patricia Ferrari-Marco Miranda
Sr.
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