A Chat with Senator McCain

Some of his critics define the Senator as vague, poorly informed and fond of using rather worn out phrases and thinking that conforms to the social dynamics of the post-Civil War era. Not so, I found.

“Senator, you have been a senator for a long time. Does this really strengthen your conviction that such experience can make you a great president?”

“Absolutely, my friend.  It teaches you to value time; after the first twenty years you realize that there is always a tomorrow and that today’s problems can always turn into soft memories in the next twenty.”

“An example, please, Senator.”

“It is easy, my friend. Prohibition is the living proof!”

“How about the present situation in our country? We are fighting in  several fronts without going anywhere, our economy is undergoing its worst crisis, our currency has been devalued in a shameless spiral and the poor in our country now exceed 50 million people and all this when we pay more than 5 dollars a gallon for gasoline. What are your thoughts?’

“My friend, let me note for the record how I propose to end this unhappy period of our history. Number three, I have to keep

Iran from making nuclear submarines. Number six, I firmly believe that Mexicans would go the other way if we force Guatemala and Panama to increase their minimum wage so that illegals go that way. About number five you mentioned, I firmly believe that  there is no mortgage crisis; it is all an exaggeration created by the neo-liberal, anti-patriotic side of our political spectrum; houses have always been bought and sold. The fact that a few owners decide to sell to move to Florida, does not mean that there is a crisis. And number nine, my friend is has to do with the high cost of Health Care..”

At that point, I interrupted the Senator in order to change the subject. I asked:

“Do you think your military service experience can help you solve some of the problems facing our nation?’

“My friend, military service is like being a monk in a far and remote monastery. The fact that some one shoots at your patrol boat in a river in a thick jungle, is just one of the uncertainties of war. You learn a great deal from it and it allows you to face the future without fear!”

“Senator, aren’t you referring to Senator Kerry?”

“My friend, Senator Kerry is a good friend of mine. It was a shame when he was shot down!”

“Thank you Senator”

“My friend, thanks to you!”